I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Randomize
