Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
