shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
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