She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
