I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
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