so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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