the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
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