Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
