six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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