that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
