ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
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