I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
