He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
