Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
