FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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