Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
