i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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