this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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