apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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