I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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