Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
