note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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