Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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