he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize