I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
