Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
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