It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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