I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
