Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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