I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize