you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
