I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
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