I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
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