Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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