yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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