peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
