what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
