i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize