Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
