I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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