return my video game
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
