So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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