i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
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So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
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Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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