We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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