So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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