making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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