I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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