I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
