i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
