i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
