apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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