There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
