So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize