Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize
