Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I just want to make out with him forever
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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