you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
