I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
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you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
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We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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