after a month anything with tits is on the radar
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
