Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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