Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
