Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
